Money stress

I hate financial stress. It feels like my entire life I have never had enough money to live. I've worked hard since my early teens, yet my life has always been a struggle to get by. Barely making ends meet, paycheck to paycheck, overdrawn bank accounts, disconnection utility notices, etc. I've always always worried about money. It's the first thing I think about when I awake in the morning and it's the last thing on my mind before I go to asleep. Of course I don't go right to sleep because my money stress is causing thoughts to go on and on in my head and I can't seem to turn them off. I've tried  to alleviate the stress by working harder, taking on more jobs, having garage sales, selling stuff on eBay and Craig'slist to no avail. Clearly my thinking that I had to work harder to make more money to fix this stress was not working. Thank goodness for BFF's. My BFF's name is Kathy. We've been friends since we were teens. We've done some wild and crazy things together over the years. Shared laughter and tears. She's more like what I'd imagine a sister should be. Though I have sisters, my bond and my relationship is strong with her. A few years ago she went through a parents worst nightmare, she lost her daughter instantly in a tragic fatal auto accident. Katrina was 22 years old and was truly just blossoming and beginning her life after years of being an unfocused anguished teen. Due to this unfathomable loss, Kathy struggled with the fact that she would never speak to, hug or hold her daughter again. She refused to accept that she could not communicate with her daughter again. She began a quest, a journey into the spiritual world. She read and educated herself on angels, spirit guides, mediumship, etc. and I have been her faithful sidekick on this journey. She has inspired, confused and enlightened me all at once. She has made me aware of things that I never gave a thought to. The law of attraction, angel numbers, archangels, etc. I don't always grasp all the concepts she shares with me and to be completely honest I struggle with some of them. She has always encouraged me to think and be positive in my thinking about money. She has sent me links on Feng shui to help with my lack of money. She has discussed the law of attraction. She has told me to speak to my angels and spirit guides about it. She has sent me meditations on abundance. You get the picture. Last week I was having a difficult financial week. I was 10 days from payday and had $40. I live at home with my 3 sons. I didn't know how I was going to get by. How I was going to feed us, how I was going to get gas in my car so I could work. My gut was in knots. It felt like I had a tight burning mass in there. I meditated and tried to release the stress. I tried thinking positive thoughts and to believe and know that everything would work out. Because it always seemed to and that worrying about it would not help. I'm not an overly religious person but I envisioned the story of Jesus feeding the masses when there was not enough to. Yet as a basket was passed among the people, it had enough. I was trying to have that faith, not an easy thing to do. Over the weekend, I came home and there was a wadded up $20 bill on the coffee table. I asked my sons and they didn't know where it came from. I called my husband from whom I am separated from and asked him about it. He said that he stopped by the house and took clothes out of the dryer and found a 20. It was like a miracle to me! I volunteer with economically disadvantaged youth and there was a young mom with a 18 month old son that recently rented a room in a house after months of living in shelters and motels. She needed a mini fridge to store milk for her toddler son. She has having to purchase small sized milk which was more expensive because she had no fridge. I was struggling with using my last $40 to get her a fridge, but I needed it for food and gas for me too. The additional $20 was a godsend. I went to put in another load of laundry, and I found a 2nd $20. I couldn't believe it. Again I was flabbergasted. When you are broke, you know exactly how much money you have. I knew that there was No way I had left $40 in my dirty clothes......yet here in one day I added $40 to my wallet. I made the decision to find a fridge for the girl. I found one for exactly $40 and picked it up for her! It felt good. My oldest son knew I was struggling and gave me $40 more, which I immediately put in my gas tank. So now within a few hours, I have gas, a fridge and $40 in my wallet without doing anything but have positive thoughts! On Monday while I was at work, I received a call from my husband and he told me he had left me $200 at the house to help me out with the bills. I didn't ask him for it. It WAS all working out and I wasn't worrying about it. That same Monday evening, there was a check in the mail for $125 from Toyota from some class action suit. I was on cloud 9. In less than 24 hours I had gone from worrying how to make $40 last till payday to having more than I needed to get by. It was an absolutely amazing feeling. Definitely goi to work on trying to be more positive when it comes to my financial sitiation!